Sally (Phyllis) Frost.'s Testimony

Sally (Phyllis) Frost.

You know, I've been thinking about my life lately and the way that I once served God, and how much I enjoyed the time that I spent in the House of God, and the work I did at the christian school. I've even been talking to God about it all. Why I got mad at God and quit serving him instead of running to him in my time of need, I don't know. I told him that I would never serve him again. Since then, I've been so confused about whether I was really saved or not. I'm still confused, but you know, the poem I sent you, I've been reading it over and over again, and asking God, "Why did I write it?" It was written back in 1999.
If I was not saved, then why did God allow to write it and remind me of that Tuesday that I went to church. Because the pastor had called me and wouldn't hush until I promised him that I would be there. God also reminded me how he spoke to my heart that night, just like the poem said, and he reminded me that on that night, December 11, 1996, that I bowed on my knees in the pastor's living room, and cried out to him, asking him to come into my heart and save me. So you see, I was saved that night and that is why God allowed me to write the poem in 1999, because my dad had passed away in October 1998, I was feeling very depressed and God allowed me to write it, to remind me that I was his child and that he would take care of me no matter what I was going through.
But, not long after my dad passed away, my mom had to have a bypass surgery. I had to start missing church to take care of my mom and by the time my mom passed away in January 2000, I was already so far away from God I couldn't feel his love or his presence anymore. Even though I prayed for God to heal her, and begged him to take her home so she wouldn't be in anymore pain from the cancer. He answered my prayer. He took her home, to heaven, where she would not have to suffer anymore pain or sickness.
Instead of thanking God for answering my prayer, I grew angry and mad at him because he had taken my mom away from me. Because of this, I told God that I would never serve him again, no matter what. I did, however, go back to the christian school for a few days until the pastor of the church told me that I was no longer needed; that my lifestyle did not meet the requirements to teach there anymore. He had stopped by to see mom the day she passed away and I was on the front porch smoking a cigarette. He saw me, and dismissed me from teaching at the school because of that incident. On top of losing my mom, this incident just added more anger, hurt, and pain in my life.
For the past three years, I have basically lived my life the way that I wanted to live it, instead of serving God. But through talking with friends and going into christian chat rooms, I began to realize that there was something missing in my life. As I talk with different people, I begin to think that I had never trusted Jesus as my savior and even prayed the sinner's prayer on the internet December 1, 2002. Even after that, I still had no peace or happiness; there was still something missing in my life. As I begin reading God's word, praying and talking to him, God began to let me see that I was already saved and that once you ask Jesus to come into your heart, you are saved for eternity and no matter what we do or say, we cannot lose our salvation.
With all the hurt and pain, I was confused and because of the sin in my life, I thought I was a sinner on my way to hell. But through God's grace and mercy, he showed me that I was his child and that I didn't need to be saved, that I only needed to fall on my face before him and repent of my sins and ask him to forgive me and to start walking back towards God instead of walking away from him.
I am saying I'm sorry to anyone that read the first testimony that was placed on Neville's website. I deeply apologize and ask for forgiveness for misleading you. But this is my true testimony.
Phyllis Frost

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