Matthew Cserhati's Testimony

Matthew Cserhati

I was born in Thousand Oaks, California, one of a pair of twins. When I was young I learned about Jesus Christ and how He died on a cross for my sins. But I didn't know the real reason behind it. I felt sad that such a good man should be killed, and I pitied Him when I was young. I thought that leading a "good" life although not giving it to God was ok, and that I'd still go to Heaven. I was extremely introverted, and had hardly any freinds, and was always lonely. When I was 13 my family moved to Hungary, and I took out a year to learn Hungarian, so I could go to high school there. Eventually I went with my brother to this Franciscan high school. The years I spent there were the darkest ones in my life. The kids there thought that we would be these two awesome rebellious Americans, but that soon changed when they found out how sensitive we were. They soon started picking on us, calling us names, and kicking us and beating us. Even the teachers put us in a bad light, exhorting the United States as evil. I desperately wanted someone to befreind me, so I tried getting into this clique in the class, because they were the cool ones. But of course they didn't even think of accepting me. There was this one fattish kid in the class, who befreinded me, and even defended me in front of others. He was God's gift to me amongst the sinners. One day I picked up the Bible, and just flipped through it at random. I turned to Proverbs 15,17: "Better a dish of vegetables if love go with it than a fat ox eaten in hatred." That was a turning point. During Mass I would often pray to God though I didn't know Him to help me through the day with tests and such.

Unfortuneately for my brother the clique started beating up on him hard. Really hard. They tormented him every day, as they would an animal. they gave him no rest. Eventually my brother had to go to a psychiatric clinic where he stayed for almost a month. He went through Hell, literally.This was when I had to find out about myself that I was frail, and could not stand before God, because I didn't defend my brother.

For two whole years I felt a burden. The Accuser attacked my conscience. It was a terrible feeling. After graduation me and my brother went to this Christian camp. I admit I went there with a hard heart. I thought that the Christians were weird people. But fortuneately there were some guys there whom I knew already, from somewhere, but were Christians. They told me about Jesus, real up close. This one guy told me that he loved Jesus like he does a girl. That was to me, a very profound remark. He also hugged me a couple of times. I felt the love of Jesus coming through him and the others. There were these Christian girls at lunch who poured me tea. At first I just stared at them bewildered, but by the end of the week, I poured tea for them.

At the end of the week, I went to my brother, and admitted to him my mistake, that I was frail. And he forgave me. That moment I felt as if this terrible burden inside me had been released, and I could stand up better. On that day it stands in my diary that "today I have put my sins down at Jesus' cross."
After that I have accepted Jesus as my true Savior and Lord. Since then I have learned to love people more, and to be less selfish. I don't fear death any more, and I know that Jesus is keeping my true love for me.